In fact it’s probably time to abandon the notion of active and passive sex positions, and think of one’s own sexual position as something that can change from time to time. This is better terminology, but it can get confusing if the bottom is, for example, sitting in his partner’s lap, since you might argue he was then on top! If you’re confused, don’t worry – all will become clear. More recently, gay men having sex have been called the “top” (the one doing the penetration) and the “bottom” (the one being penetrated). The man taking his partner’s penis is capable of thrusting his hips, moving his pelvis and enjoying the sex just as much as the man who’s doing the penile thrusting. There’s an image of the active, masculine, man as being the one who fucks the passive, less masculine, man during gay anal sex – but in reality, both partners are active to some degree.
In other words, what sex position do you take? Top or bottom? And what does that say about your masculinity? Of course, one of the big issues for gay men having anal sex for the first time is whether they see themselves as “active” or “passive”. As with all sexual activity, practice makes perfect! You may find it takes you some time to get used to anal sex and the sex positions that suit you, but once you’re relaxed and at ease with it, you’ll most likely find anal intercourse a source of great pleasure.
